Family
by frilencer
Summary: Tony thinks about how his relationship with Ziva has changed in the past year.


**A little oneshot about what I think Tony and Ziva will be like when they are together... if they ever get together, of course.**

**Reviews are always very much appreciated. I don't own NCIS.**

...

When the movie ended and the credits started to roll, Tony lowered his head and smiled when he noticed that Ziva had fallen asleep with her head rested on his lap. While watching the movie, she had lied down on the couch, saying that "she wanted to be more comfy". The truth was - and they both knew that -, she enjoyed feeling the warmth of his body under her face and she loved it when he played with the wisps of her hair that straggled on her cheek. He would caress her face with the tips of his fingers, drawing short paths on her skin, and his tender touch would make her shiver slightly and beam, and she turned her head a little, just enough to look at him for a moment, with a dancing light in her eyes. That night, though, she had let herself slide into sleep, finding in his body a shelter, a place where to stay and let the defenses fall down without fearing to be hurt.

Tony stroked her cheek with his thumb, observing her beautiful features. Her face looked relaxed and peaceful, her breath was regular and slow and her hair was scattered on Tony's lap and on her cheek. Tony smiled again when she moved a little, trying to set herself in a more comfortable position. He loved watching her while she was sleeping; she looked so peaceful, without any worry, as though all her fears and wounds had stolen away from her as she had fallen asleep. He liked to think that she had found part of her calm in him, that she had learned to feel unafraid and more confident thanks to him. He knew she felt safe in his arms, he knew she let all her fears drop when he was around; he had always tried to be a shelter for her, he had always tried to be the rock she would hang on to when she was falling down. Looking at her, he realized that he had managed to do that, he had managed to be for her what he had always wanted to be for her: the man she could always trust.

During the past year, she had learned to trust him unconditionally, she had found herself feeling no embarrassment, no fear, no doubts when she was beside him; and he had learned to feel the same around her. When Tony thought about this, he couldn't believe it had been _only _a year. Yet, he remembered distinctly that day of a year before, when, after a long fight about their job and their feelings, he had grabbed her face in an almost violent way, and he had kissed her energetically, as to prevent her from pulling away and separating her lips from his. He hadn't thought before kissing her; he had never decided to do that, he had just done it. Her lips had kept still, motionless for the time that had taken his heart to beat twice, than they had joined the raging dance, and that was when it had all started.

They had made love for the first time two night after they kissed– he could still remember the way she had looked at him before he took her shirt off, as though she was trying to find the confirmation in his eyes that he wasn't going to hurt her, just like she had already been hurt too many times before. He had placed a kiss on her forehead, trying to reassure her with the simple touch of his lips on her skin, and she had smiled lightly, a smile that had told him that she had understood.

The following days, while they were slowly starting to see each other regularly, they both felt embarrassed when the other was around. They had tried to avoid each other's gaze and, in those rare moments when their eyes met, they would smile awkwardly and timidly and then they would turn away, trying to keep the distance between them. It was difficult to ignore at work the change that their relationship had faced. They couldn't just pretend that nothing had happened between them, they couldn't just pretend that everything was just like it had always been. Though, as weeks passed, they had found the balance again, they had settled down in the new situation they were living: there was the job every day, and there was them every night. After a month, the embarrassed looks has disappeared from the workplace, replaced by their old bantering and jokes, now accompanied by glimpses whose meaning they were the only one who were aware of.

When they were alone, it was all different than what it used to be like. Tony would often follow her into the women's room, much more often than he did before, and they would talk and arrange plans for the night or they would just enjoy a few minutes alone, by themselves, far away from the show that they played every day in the office.

Their relationship was rapidly changing, it was acquiring new feelings, new shades, new experiences. When they were together at home, they would talk about things they had never had the courage to speak about before. Step by step, they had learned to know the other in every detail and they knew that their partner felt just the same so they were unafraid of sharing thoughts and sensations they had never discussed before. They had always tried to help each other, but now they were open to the other in a new way, in a way they had never experienced before, a way that made them feel closer than ever.

There weren't only deep talks about important topics, they also had a lot of fun together. The most beautiful part was that neither of them felt the need to be someone else than themselves with the other. They would banter at home too, they would laugh, fight, have fun, joke together, just like they had always had done. The big difference was that they touched each other much more often now; they had always been afraid of the contact of their bodies, fearing that it could bring to feelings they wanted to shut down. There was no more fear now, there was nothing to hide behind the distance. They could be close and touch each other as much as they wanted, as much as they felt like doing, and they both found a new home in the other's body.

They now lived together in his apartment and Tony couldn't explained how it had happened. It had just… happened, in the most natural way; she was at his place more and more frequently until he had realized that all her things were now in his drawers and that she hadn't been in her apartment for at least a month.

The big difference from the other relationships Tony had been involved in before was that, with Ziva, he felt no embarrassment anymore. He didn't feel like he constantly had to prove something; he didn't feel like he had to impress her and do whatever he could not to disappoint her. There was no discomfort when they just stayed silent, there was no need to say something to break the lack of sounds. Talking about private things didn't make him feel vulnerable, he didn't need to be afraid of what she could think about it. It was just him, and there was no point in hiding things from her about him.

They had gotten to a point when they weren't only a man and a woman who were together. They were much more, they were linked by a much stronger bond, a bond that he had never thought he would be able to set up with anyone. He felt like he was at home when he was with Ziva, he felt like whatever he would do, she would understand. He felt comfortable around her, as though she were another layer of his skin he lived in, as though they were someone a single thing, a single piece of matter whose components were bound by indestructible bonds.

They were a family.

_She _was family.


End file.
